I'd almost missed this..

That very peculiar feeling you get with a weak hangover, not one which can knock you for six, but when you feel groggy and just not quite right.
Obviously I haven't had much money lately, but what with me being out last night to celebrate pay day, it seems I'm going to be making the most of this month in at least one way. Partying.

Everyone else that I encounter seems to be having the same idea too, there tends to be a more fun aura about the city, one which has people trying new places and new experiences. It's enjoyable and oddly contagious too!

I do need to work on my drunken impulses though. Far too often last night I had to mentally shake myself because I had drank too much and realised I was dancing like a fool!
Was really fun to be out with the people I was though, not many of my several groups are really into going to places and dancing and having fun. Before this last week my nights out had become rather boring and set in routine, this recent change is nice.


Now all I need to do is to get over how rediculusly shy I become when it comes to chatting up girls. It's the most peculiar thing, I am a very confident person, I walk the walk, talk the talk, know most people in any given situation and hell, half the girls I know I have no trouble talking to. HOWEVER! The instant that I find someone in a club or just wherever that interests me I turn into a nervous wreck.
It's unnerving to suddenly be that aware of your body, and that clueless about how to proceed. Needless to say it's not helping my dry spell.

Oh well, something to work on I think.

If only wish lists were real

You know what I am really missing of late? Camaraderie.
Now don't get me wrong, I have some fantastic friends, some truly amazing friends, and some that i just like to get drunk with. What I really truly miss, and I guess never really had, is a group of friends who I can just be around all the time. So many other people I know are having day trips, or going for random meals, or just spending the day around a group of people and it's there every day thing, their norm. My norm consists more of sitting on my ass all day refreshing Facebook, logging onto my Xbox live account to shoot something, rinse, repeat. The joy.

I understand that a lot of people have prior commitments to other friends and tasks at hand, but why must I always be left in the dark. I'm free for most the time, I get on with most of my close friends other friends, would it be so difficult to invite me along now and then, or is that just me being annoying and self centered?

I don't really get to see many people at the moment. Once upon a time I was the person to know, I was THAT guy, the one with his finger in every social group, the one to invite if you wanted everyone else there. I'm confused as to what happened. suddenly I'm the one that's there, and is fun, but it doesn't really matter if I am or not. Now THAT is me being a bit selfish, but who isn't? Who doesn't like to feel wanted, nay, needed sometimes?

I have this guy, he is always saying he is like a brother to me, and credit to him, in his own way, he has been there for me, he kinda has this emotional bond to me that no one else gets from him. However, the rest of the time, he just treats me like dirt. That's not the kind of thing I want either!

Now, I had written a whole lot more to this, but my computer crashed and didn't save all of it. So this will do for now, most likely until another thought hits me later tonight.

Ho hum

Recently I moved back into my parents place. It's certainly different than I remember, despite only having been moved out for 6 months.
It's somewhat surprising how much I can tell I've developed in even that short period of time. My attitude towards saving/spending money is a lot more controlled, I'm cleaner, my appetite has grown (quite a scary thought considering how much I ate to begin with) but at the same time I have developed a few odd habits. For example, now at night I constantly check all the doors and windows, even if I know for a fact they are locked.

Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this place, being back with the parents is fantastic, I get a lot of freedom most wouldn't, and the relationship I have with my mum and her partner is very similar to that which you have with your oldest friend. The downside of course, being that it isn't my space anymore. I can't just invite people over to mooch around, I can't have girls over to stay, people cant just randomly crash after a night out. It's a strange trade off that while having me be a little more mature and also healthy with my eating, is rubbing off on how social I am feeling.
Not to mention it's a bitch of a walk to get back home after a night out! Jesus Christ, that steep hill doesn't half take it out of you after a night of running around a club. Especially when you aren't used to it.

I'm sure this is all just me whinging and moaning, but it's taking some adjusting and it was nice to get this out of my head and onto somewhere that I can no doubt look back at a couple of months from now and regret typing.
I really do rant about some rubbish don't I.